#j'onn martian manhunter j'onzz

[consistantly-changing]

Ollie is right <3

Bruce googling “Top Ten Clues Your Teammates Know Your Secret Identity” There was that post going around about members of the justice league playing “fuck, marry, kill” with Bruce Wayne in the mix, and, well.

[lovesick-joey]

happy holidays!!

[jesterraconteuse]

Hal Jordan finding out about Nightwing: YOU. You have a *kid*?

Batman: well... Technically he's my oldest and age of majority... But he's still my kid.

Hal Jordan: OLDEST? YOU HAVE MORE? 2? 3?

Batman visibly annoyed:... 6... Legally.

Hal Jordan: I'm going home. This has single handedly killed my willpower for a week, I need to process this.

Later....

Superman: Ah so you finally found out. I'm proud of him honestly, good to see he's willing to bond with others again.

Hal Jordan: You knew?

Superman: ...His kids basically call me Uncle Supes. I've babysat. I was around when he still just had Nightwing

WW: They're so cute! Children of such strength and bravery. Not to mention his dog, his cat, his cow... His son has animals even I've never seen before!

Hal Jordan: I've had enough.

And Hal hasn't even learned about his crime fighting cousin, batwing, Oracle, bluebird, Spoiler, and of course Jarro.

Note: everyone knows Supes is a father, he's the dad to talk your ear off about it but he's too nice with too much country charm for anyone to say anything about it. WW and Martian Manhunter are the only ones who listen absolutely intently.

[violent138]

If I was J'onn, I'd check out during League meetings to daydream and doodle and periodically check into Batman's head where he's keeping a running transcript of major decisions along with annotations like "tell Clark to stop doing that thing with hair, extremely distracting", "God Barry, say what you want or stop opening your mouth repeatedly", and "For fuck's sake Hal do not get Oliver started on fourth wave feminism", followed by more transcriptions and a mental to do list that's so off puttingly impossible but also includes tasks like: "buy new crockpot to apologize to Alfred. Pride goeth before the food poisoning."

[dio-niisio]

I love the idea that Batman has a Dad Instinct™. Like he just knows when one of his kids is in trouble! Whatever it is, it can be because of a villain or because they are causing mischief he just knows!

It can obviously be infuriating for the batkids, like he's in the middle of an important meeting with the Justice League and suddenly he just stops talking and goes in his personal comms and starts to bicker with Nightwing saying "No, you can't go bust that cartel alone. I don't care that you and Jason are fighting you are going to take him with you-" and you can hear a distinct "But daaaad!!" from Nightwing.

Or he just says "Don't you dare." when one of his kids is in the Watchtower with him and starts looking at Flash with mischievous eyes.

Or even better he starts to treat some of League members just like he treats his kids! Like "Don't touch that." when Green Lenten takes a step too close to one of the buttons near the windows (he was going to open the windows when the sun is directly hitting on said windows, probably temporarily blinding some people). Or "57 boxes of Oreos is too much even for you, my friend." when Martian Manhunter looks at the kitchen again (he eats too much of the stuff and is starting to become a problem).

Or when he looks at our baby Billy Batson and he has a feeling that he needs to take care of him but that's Marvel! And he's clearly a grown man! Right? (It doesn't help that he just can't find anything on him)

He cares too much for his on good

[sisaloofafump]

The chaos in this bodyswap...

Aquaman controlling Wonder Woman's body. Batman in Superman's. J'onn in Aquaman's. Steel/John Henry in Green Lantern/Kyle Rayner's.

Batman was actually very interesting in Superman's skin:

Body swaps with them are always just so fun.

This is JLA: Foreign Bodies, a oneshot from 1999

[magicpiano]

DCxDP AU where Dani fakes being an alien.

Dani's obsession with travel also left her with a desire to know more about the places she couldn't travel to, like Krypton and Mars. Considering the vast majority of both those populations are dead, it was easy enough for her to befriend some ghost aliens. From them she learns about their culture and language.

At some point one of her new friends jokes that her ghost powers kind of function like a mix of Kryptonian and Martian biology. She laughs. It is just a joke.

At least till she is in danger. The GIW finally found her. She is scared and desperate and tells a lie. Dani screams out, "Superman, if you can hear me, I am Kryptonian too and they are trying to capture me. Please help."

She doesn't actually expect this plan to work. It was a last ditch hail Mary. She figured she would (fully) die here, but even if he was on the other side of the earth he hears her and comes to her rescue.

But see, actions have consequences and now that she is safe she needs to keep the lie going. It is a good thing her alien ghost friends are willing to help her create a fabricated story about how a Martin and a Kryptonian managed to get to earth, have a child, and for some reason aren't around anymore.

It is not an ideal situation, but being an alien is legal while being a ghost isn't, so what's a girl to do? If there is one thing a child who travels the world alone knows how to do, it is lie and bullshit their way through any situation.

Meanwhile, Clark and J'onn are thrilled and fighting each other for custody.

[itnotddtillisayitdead]

They don't think he's Kryptonian, or a Meta.

When Phantom makes an appearance everyone comes to the same conclusion.

He can fly, turn intangible and invisible, he knows things he shouldn't be able to know. All that and plus the frequent stargazing?

Everyone assumes Phantom is a Martian.

[not-another-robin]

30 years old they should be at the cluuuub

[greennightingale]

Um, no?

[incorrectbatfam]

Now the opposite, JL with baby Bruce

Hal: What are we supposed to feed him?

Clark: I guess it depends how old he is. Does he have any teeth?

Ollie: I saw him teething with a batarang earlier.

Barry: Hey, guys—

J'onn: I can recreate a toy from my Martian childhood. Does anybody have an accelerant? Petroleum, perhaps?

Arthur: Children need safety and affection. That is why I have chosen this blobfish to act as his trusty companion.

Barry: You guys—

Hal: Let's call the ladies. They can help.

Ollie: Oh, you assume they're automatically better at childcare because they're women? It's 2025, Hal, get with the program.

Clark: He's right. We can do this. Now, where's Bruce?

Barry: That's what I've been trying to tell you. Some old British guy kidnapped him while you were talking.

[declamationark]

DPXDC prompt: There’s an alien invasion incoming and the justice league are all up in arms to defeat them. Once they break into the mothership, however, they discover that the aliens were already beaten up and there’s this ghostly child cackling in the control room. It’s Danny and he is Obsession-drunk and having an absolute blast exploring every nook and cranny of the ship, dismantling it to see how the machines work, driving it around, chatting a hundred miles per hour to the definitely-concussed and groaning alien commander, and just zooming fro and fro with eyes dilated so hard there’s only a tiny ring of green in his eyes, lost in the feral serotonin sauce

Bonus points if the justice league calm Danny down by having him fanboy over Martian Manhunter, and then in the end, Danny goes “I’m gonna stick with you now! No takebacks!” and adopts J’onn into the Fenton family, now J’onn has two midwestern folks to hang out with for the holidays (the Kents from that Christmas special and now the Fentons)

[catpriciousmarjara]

DP X DC: Dani Does Things and Leaves, Explains Nothing

Heavily inspired by this dp x dc prompt and the comments and reblogs under it:

Please go check it out and @stealingyourbones entire page. They have some great dp x dc content and meta.

Local Ghost Princess Decides to Help Out Fellow Clone, Leaves Chaos Behind, Heroes Left Concerned and Very Confused, More at 10.

Now Dani knew that this world had superheroes. She knew they had an organization of sorts that had a hate-hate relationship with various government entities and a love-hate relationship with the public, depending on who you asked. However she had no intention of being involved with them. She was on vacation after all. Besides this world was just a stopover anyway. Why bother when she wasn't here on official business? But it seemed that while she didn't want anything to do with the heroes, they, however inadvertently, wanted something to do with her. How else will you explain one of the worst cloning results she had ever seen crash into a tree right in front of her while she was enjoying a nice cup of litchi boba tea in the park?

The botched clone job slid down the branches and hit the ground with a thud. She raised an eyebrow at the the rampant malevolent magical lines running through the body exacerbating the overall instability of the clone's anatomy. Clearly this individual had run into an irate mage who cast some sort of destabilizing curse and shot them right out of the sky. Dani was thankful this was an isolated section of the park and that she had put a rudimentary avoidance ward over the area. Otherwise, a superhero crashing into a tree would've caused quite the ruckus and interrupted her boba time.

She took a sip of her boba and crouched down to examine the conked out hero. This one was the one they called Superboy wasn't he? She grimaced at the state of his engineering. Whoever did his cloning did not know what they were dealing with. Her own cloning went better and she was ectoplasmic goop half the time. And Vlad was dealing with halfa DNA! Probably the most complicated genetic material in existence. Superboy over here was constructed from actual tangible genetic sources and yet...ugh.

Honestly speaking beings of this plane probably wouldn't have noticed anything wrong. A level down in power scale compared to the individual who acted as genetic donor, most likely that Superman guy, and random instances of destabilization would most likely be the extend of their knowledge regarding their faulty cloning. And when those instances of instability gradually ironed themselves out they probably patted themselves on the back and thought all was well. She should cut them some slack.

Dani hummed as she chewed on her boba pearls. Unfortunately she wasn't known to be the most merciful when it came to ensuring the well-being of clones.

Suckers probably didn't pick up the fact they unleashed a possible catastrophe upon their world. Superboy was obviously fashioned from Kryptonian DNA. A species known for becoming near godlike upon absorbing solar energy from a yellow sun. That means that their bodies have mechanisms at play beyond simple biology. Specifically energy pathways and an energy processing core. Superboy wasn't a level down in power from Superman because of some biological imperfection, he was weaker because of flawed energy absorption and storage. And that meant that his energy core was unbalanced, and once it reached a particular threshold...well its gonna be a spectacular light show this side of the galaxy that's for sure. Of course it was just a possibility. There was no guarantee he would reach that threshold in his lifetime. Unless he ran into a white mage who was vicious enough to cast a juiced up imbalance curse that is. And what do you know! Turns out you can organically be that unlucky!

She put down her cup and ran a simple diagnostics. Sure enough the magic had intensified the issue. This man needed help, the kind of help that wasn't usually available in this part of the omniverse. But she just so happened to pass by and just so happened to have expertise in this field so today was somehow simultaneously Superboy's lucky and unlucky day. He really was going through it.

As to why she would interfere that's easy. She was the Guardian of Cloned Beings after all. She can't have a fellow clone suffer could she? And plus, what were the chances that he would end up like this right in front of one of the only beings that would know how to fix the issue? Dani grinned in glee. Truly the laws of causality worked in intriguing ways.

She stood up and let her talons manifest, plucking the strings of SuperboyConnerKon-el's make and striking them one by one in the tune of an old Krytonian melody. Shame what happened to them really, but all things had their fate. It truly was great to see some of them survive and make a home elsewhere. Dani wished them the best.

As she worked, untangling knots, and straightening out blockages, the hero finally began to stir. His eyes opened and they were understandably unfocused. Disoriented and confused, he looked kinda like a bamboozled Cujo and Dani felt her lips twitch up in a toothy smile. For some reason that seemed to startle him. She mentally frowned. Did he expect her not to smile at him? That would've been rude of her. Dani might be a gremlin but she was never impolite.

"I'm just about done with the curse", she told him. "Leaching out the corrosive magic was easy but I need to repair your energy coils and that's tricky. Don't worry though. Everything's on the house. Always did have a soft spot for the House of El ever since my aunt married into it for a short while."

Dani pulled a particularly stubborn power node open. "I would like your permission before doing that through. Body autonomy, informed decisions and and all! So yes or no? You'd detonate like a bomb if I didn't though."

The young hero's eyes widened. He still didn't seem to know what was going on so she hit him with a short term clarity spell. And a small information spell to cover her bases. That got him to gather his wits enough and she watched as he processed the influx of information. His complexion was ashen when he got through the bundle and he finally managed a shaky nod. Good enough.

Dani smiled at the Kryptonian. "Great! Now this would take like twenty minutes give or take five. You can sleep now." She promptly knocked him out cold and cancelled the spells so as to not overload his brain.

And just as she predicted, twenty minutes later, she plucked the last string with a flick of her wrist and surveyed her handiwork. Exemplary if she said so herself. One of her best work! Cheerfully she shot an awakening spell at Kon-el and crouched down again, patting his head.

"You might need to be careful for a few days while your body adjusts to its new energy capacity and conductivity. Your overall system has been optimized as well so be careful", she told the groggy young man.

She paused. "And don't worry. I didn't access your mind. This was all strictly physical repair aimed at preventing you from exploding like a supernova and taking the planet with you."

And once again that part made his eyes widen. Good. He truly understood the urgency. Or that could just be him being loopy after solar energy overload. It was a bright, sunny day after all.

She stood up, creating a portal to the next world on her itinerary. She looked back at the most likely high as a kite Kryptonian. "You kinda owe me for all that extra work hero! I might just come to collect one of these days!", she joked as the portal swallowed her body and she was lost to the spaces between spaces.

She'd already told him it was all on the house so Dani didn't think that anyone would take that last part seriously. However she forgot the fact that one Conner Kent was in her own words 'high as a kite' and hence might miss some crucial details.

She also forgot to leave behind an explanation packet.

And thus she was utterly unaware of the chaos she left in her wake, happily traveling through the multiverse.

..............................................................................................................................

"So you're telling me that not only did someone find me when I was out cold and get rid of the spell, but they also rearranged my guts and gave me an upgrade?"

"...Yeah."

"What the fuck?"

..............................................................................................................................

"Conner, do you remember anything? Anything at all? Whatever they did required some serious magical power. We don't know why they did it or how. For all we know they could've done something dangerous that we can't detect yet."

"Litchi boba tea".

"Kon what the hell?"

..............................................................................................................................

"...Its in bits and pieces...but I'm pretty sure there was a woman?...white hair, green eyes...something something on the house...something about an aunt and the House of El?...and there was this strange white symbol on her chest and this really soft music was playing that went something like this...(confused humming noises)...and something about me owing her?"

"Kara? Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong?"

..............................................................................................................................

"Let me get this straight, Superboy was healed by the Kryptonian primordial goddess of portals, messengers, travelers and other such domains, and not only did she save him but also gave him a tune up? And explicitly said that he owes her now? And this powerful divine being, who is also supposed to be the daughter of Krypton's Death God according to legends mind you, is most likely still on earth with motives unknown? Plus your entire House is descended from her family?"

"...Yeah that about sums it up."

"..."

..............................................................................................................................

"Oh man why did this happen just when I was going to go on vacation? Why couldn't the Death God or whatever reschedule?"

"Death gods notoriously don't reschedule, they're death gods. Also she's the daughter of a death god, not one herself. Most death gods are also famously fair. If not fair by our standards, fair by theirs".

"...That's good to know?"

"I confess I don't know about the fairness of children of death gods however".

"...great. Thanks anyway J'onn".

"You're welcome".

..............................................................................................................................

"You okay there man? Someone just rifled through your body and did who knows what...that's gotta be terrifying. You want to talk? We're all here for you, you know that right?"

" Thanks guys. And yeah it was freaky. But apparently I would've exploded and blown up the planet with me if she didn't do that so I guess I'm more grateful than scared."

"...Explode and blown up the what now?"

..............................................................................................................................

"Is there anything more we should know about Clark?"

"Legends say she has a brother and he's associated with great calamities?"

"...."

"Bruce? You alright?"

..............................................................................................................................

DPXDC refuses to be done with me. Leave me be accursed crossover! Leave me be!

(Btw Kon didn't make the connection because he was really out of it, and not because Clark and Kara didn't introduce him to Kryptonian culture.)

Thoughts and suggestions are welcome!

[chuckiescrafts]

J'onn POV:

(A gift for their martian mom)

[axstoria]

Bruce Wayne being the crush of nearly all the Justice League members...

Clark is regularly seen more happy than usual in Batman's presence, offering the stoic man an absurd amount of help for no reason, even if he is pushed away by the Bat. He's always keeping tabs on the man's heartbeat to make sure he's safe and healthy because he can't bear to even think that his best friend could be sick or dying somewhere.

Hal is snarky and throws more comments around, yet everyone can see the way his gaze appreciates Batman's wide chest. He'll blame it on thinking his logo changed if anyone asks. And, sure, he'll throw little flirty jabs at Batman, but everyone else does, too, so it's okay, right? ...right...?

Diana is... normal. Nobody really notices the way her gaze lingers on Bruce's body for a moment more than everyone else's after a long mission, checking to see if anybody is severely injured. Maybe it's just because he's human, so she wants to make sure her teammate is safe.

Barry grows increasingly red (nearly the same shade as his suit) whenever Bruce is near him. He doesn't understand why—he has a wife, after all—but maybe it's just the tall, dark, and handsome cliché getting to him. Maybe the Bat is just an awakening of a part of him he didn't know he had.

Oliver torments Bruce as a civilian and in uniform. He's one of the few who can interact with the Bat in any situation, and he uses it to his advantage. He openly flirts at galas (Bruce is forced to return the sentiment to keep up his Brucie persona) and during missions, and nobody outside of the JL can put together the dots that these two particular men are weirdly romantic with one another.

Then, there's poor, poor J'onn who has to listen to all their ridiculous thoughts like he's being strapped to a chair and forced to watch the most dramatic soap opera that has ever been created. (He does not miss Bruce's little proud comments to himself after each weird interaction.)

[josephsaturn]

What I imagine the Justice league was like before they revealed their identities to each other